translation, wilderness

(re: alex g - "bobby")

bark bakrbakr bakr abkrk bakr bark (i.e., unrequited devotion can become a monstrous, destructive, and corrosive kind of relation when taken on irresponsibly [i.e., without respect to the other or oneself], which underscores some basic need to see both the other and the self with clear eyes before making any commitment, at least insofar as that commitment would go)!!! ! !!

wff wff (i.e., i am not the things i enjoy, the things i think about, or the things i consume. these things are not me, i did not make them, and they do not have any essential bearing on my personhood, my feelings, my life, or my experiences. art, and my relationships with it, do influence my life, my thinking, my webs of meaning and self-identification, and so on, but they do not precede them.

the compulsive urge to re-experience my own life and memories, and pre-discursively mold my feelings and interpretations of them according to the art i happen to enjoy is toxic. that sort of maladaptive and out-of-order projection distorts my ability to actually see the art object in front of me with relative clarity, especially with regard to its anthropological situation, and it utterly corrodes my ability to process my life with actual care and attention to the way it *is*. finding a lyric relatable, or empathizing with the perspective of the narrator, has absolutely nothing to do with draping the art object, and the feelings it wells up, over your immediate life and reality. most of the time, these things are only disparately related.

experiencing a text on a pre-discursive level, interpreting it, relating to it, and internalizing it are relatively distinct actions, even if they are often simultaneous and always interrelated. treating one or two parts of your relationship with art as sovereign over the whole is plainly dishonest, and unchecked projection leads to you missing a lot of what you could actually notice and learn from a given text. and, like most internal phenomena, you have some control over this, even if it's only with respect to the posture you take heading into the art itself.

i don't really know if i've really articulated just how toxic and frustrating it is to fall into this compulsion. [...] i'm not the art i consume, and the art i consume is not me, no matter how long we hang out and chat. dealing with life is a handful on its own, and i don't need to be playing self-destructively with my own feelings on top of that. enjoy art for what it is, please [...])!!